a masochist’s swan song

i sate, suspending my strings
on your whims and fancies,
your self-absorbed delusions of grandeur
so when it snaps (routine to a fault)
chronic disappointment
stings like a welcomed friend,
your non-concern approving
giving giving giving open jaw
is yippee yay a dog on a leash.
a happy stitch an unhappy bitch
your consistency is my constant line.
nobody questions a tool,
why it builds. boom! get the job done,
is all. is. all. is. all that i am and will be
i feed on shackles of non-expectation.
pop this gun, charming spell. i dare you. i dare.

It’s 1 am

and I’m watching my phone, rattling my bones, wondering if alone’s parked just around the bend dreaming about me.
between the rise and fall of the hollows on the silo. if i were to sleep on the floor. would i be dreaming, of me, dreaming.

hell, redux

Gimme TLC dammit.